Thanks for being patient!

John Scalzi wrote an absolutely beautiful summary of this past weekend. I laughed from point 2 through the end. You’ve got to read it!

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/02/01/all-the-many-ways-amazon-so-very-failed-the-weekend/

Below is the quote from Publisher’s Weekly:

Amazon Answers: “Ultimately….We Will Have to Capitulate”

Could publishers have triumphed so quickly with their strategy to use Apple’s entry into the market to move to an agency model for selling ebooks? (Note that the etailer says “ultimately.” Immediately after posting this “announcement,” disabled Macmillan buy buttons had not been restored yet.) Early Sunday evening, The Amazon Kindle team has just posted this to a forum on their site:

Dear Customers:

Macmillan, one of the “big six” publishers, has clearly communicated to us that, regardless of our viewpoint, they are committed to switching to an agency model and charging $12.99 to $14.99 for e-book versions of bestsellers and most hardcover releases.

We have expressed our strong disagreement and the seriousness of our disagreement by temporarily ceasing the sale of all Macmillan titles. We want you to know that ultimately, however, we will have to capitulate and accept Macmillan’s terms because Macmillan has a monopoly over their own titles, and we will want to offer them to you even at prices we believe are needlessly high for e-books. Amazon customers will at that point decide for themselves whether they believe it’s reasonable to pay $14.99 for a bestselling e-book. We don’t believe that all of the major publishers will take the same route as Macmillan. And we know for sure that many independent presses and self-published authors will see this as an opportunity to provide attractively priced e-books as an alternative.

Kindle is a business for Amazon, and it is also a mission. We never expected it to be easy!

As reported previously here, other major publishers do in fact have plans for pursuing “the same route,” so this may be just the first chapter.

Essentially, Amazon yanked all MacMillan books, which includes Tor, in both e-book and paper formats from their website. However, they do still allow third party vendors to sell these books through Amazon.

There has been a flurry of blogs and responses by authors as a result. Here are some of my favorites:

http://www.sfwa.org/2010/01/why-my-books-are-no-longer-available-on-amazon-com/
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/01/30/a-quick-note-on-ebook-pricing/
http://jaylake.livejournal.com/2042910.html
http://suricattus.livejournal.com/1200903.html
http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2010/01/amazon-macmillan-an-outsiders.html

I think John Scalzi and Charlie Stross’ posts sum up my thoughts on this matter quite nicely.

In a free market society, Amazon has the right to pull or sell whatever they want. However, their goal has been to monopolize e-books and eventually force publishers to sell their books to Amazon on Amazon’s terms, not the other way around. From my understanding, all of their e-books priced at $9.99 are sold at a loss to them. They have been taking this financial hit to sell more kindles and garner the largest market share in that area. The kindle, unlike most other e-readers is DRM (restricted format). With enough market share, they could turn to the publishers and force them to lower their prices to meet Amazon’s model.

With Apple entering the picture, Amazon has a viable competitor where it really didn’t before. Whether you like Apple or not is irrelevant. The point is Apple has a huge following and is capable of bringing more pressure to bear on Amazon than Sony or B&N.

Also, MacMillan was willing to keep the old pricing model they had with Amazon. Their only caveat would be that they would not release the e-book version until several months after the hard copy version (meaning paper or hardback). In this way, the $9.99 e-book price would not divert from the revenue generated from a new release.

Amazon didn’t like it because doing so would allow people who wanted to buy the new release to pay full-price for the hard copy and not an immediate discounted price for an e-book.

This is no different than any other industry. It is not only accepted, but expected, that new releases will ALWAYS cost more than the same product purchased later on. You see this with movies, cars, televisions, everything.

Authors and publishers have a right to make a living as best they can. Amazon’s efforts thus far have been to turn books in the equivalent of drive-thru creations. Demeaning the time and talent it took to create the books.

Just as it’s their right to sell what they want. It’s my right to take my business elsewhere and it’s the publisher’s right not to give in to Amazon’s terms.

I gave Amazon the benefit of the doubt during the Amazon Fail fiasco (in which gay/lesbian books mysteriously vanished). While I didn’t approve of their method, I did understand their reason for removing copies of 1984 from kindles when that occurred. I’ve watched as publishers fretted of the lower and lower prices of new releases while Amazon, and later WalMart and Target, got into a pricing war. Like everyone else, I love to save money. However, one of the best ways to save money in a free economy is through competition. Let supply and demand set the price. If people think it’s too expensive, they won’t pay. But if they are never given the choice, then you’ll never know what the price could be. Amazon’s decision to drop MacMillan because they didn’t want to test the market by altering e-book pricing was the last straw. Amazon has lost my business. For those interested, I cancelled my Amazon Prime membership as well as the two pre-orders. Instead, I purchased them through my new account at Powells.com.

Who will be the first author with an animated cover? Will people crave enhanced e-books or do people want their e-books to remain static and moving-part free? 

Personally, I buy books to read, not to ‘play’ them. However, with the advent of color graphics and Apple stepping in to the mix, the future of e-readers does provide some really interesting possibilities, particularly in fantasy. Many fantasy fans love their maps. Having a map in a book doesn’t make me like it anymore. I read it for the story and a map is nice to glance at once in awhile. Perhaps because I deal with maps for a living I’m a bit jaded by their allure. Regardless, with the use of a sophisticated e-reader, a fantasy author could really expand on their appeal to readers. Many fantasy fans love role-playing and gaming. I could easily envision and interactive world map on some fancy, new e-reader.

Wouldn’t a fan love to be able to click on a city in the map and see the type of beings native to that region with links to a glossary of which characters in the book are this species? Perhaps with a pop-up explaining the environment, political system, dominant export, alliances, etc of the city in question.

And instead of a fan constantly flipping back to a map, what if every city and region in the novel had a link that, when selected, would produce a pop up of that part of the map?

The map itself could also get enhanced with rivers flowing and waves crashing against the shore. How about some transparent mist hovering over some mountains or fields of tall grass blowing in the wind?

And what about the characters in the book? What if the end of each chapter had a map that would expand to show each of the characters in that chapter and where they physically are on the map? How far had the made it and how much further do they have to go? If the scene included a battle, would the reader like to see the slain enemy lying behind them on the trail?

I realize this type of ‘book’ muddies the line between novel and game, but they are still distinct. The book would become interactive, but not open-ended. The reader is limited to following the author’s goal and focus. They cannot alter the story in any way. It’s simply a matter of animating parts of the book.

This type of novel would also create some new revenue streams and job opportunities. No longer would artists be restricted to cover art. They would need to create images of every species in the book as well as one for each specific character. I don’t know enough about graphics and artists to know if the same artists who design covers would also be able to do these new drawings. For something like this, a gaming designer/artist may be better suited. There is also the software needed to animate the graphics and link to the relevant passages, words, chapters within the book.

This, of course, will not appeal to everyone. The nice thing about this is that the e-book could be offered in two versions: standard or animated. The price would need to reflect the difference, but what an opportunity?! As depressing as publishing news has been in recent years, there are so many exciting new changes that I’m really happy I’m writing at this point in publishing history.

I have tunnel vision when I write. What I mean is that I get so focused on the action of the scene from the characters POV, I have a difficult time backing out of that POV to create the visuals. For example, when I’m in my character’s head and moving through a scene, I only see what they see. I write what the character is doing or saying, showing as much as I can remember to do, but the scenery remains barren.

Once I finish writing a scene, I then need to go back and go through it all again. This time, I don’t write from the main character’s viewpoint. Instead, I step back and describe the details of what’s surrounding her. I’ve repeatedly tried to write both simultaneously and I simply can’t do it. I know what’s there, but it doesn’t come out in words when I’m in ‘character mode.’ At least not yet. Perhaps, with practice, I’ll be able to switch back and forth, but for now, I sink so deep in the character, that it simply isn’t possible for me to go back and forth between the two.

Another thing I’ve discovered is that I’m pretty good with dialogue. It’s definitely my strength. Speech is something that I’ve always had an ear for, as they say. I took French in high school and college and that language always came natural to me, if that makes any sense. I don’t get the chance to speak it very often and have forgotten most of the grammar and vocabulary, but when I do converse with a native speaker, they almost always think I’m a native speaker or compliment me on my accent. Of course, if I have to say more than a few words, then it’s obvious I’m not French! My point, however, is that I’ve always been able to listen to a native speaker of another language and duplicate very closely what they said. I’ve done this with many languages. I think whatever it is that let’s me here small changes in intonation or accent is what allows me to write good dialogue.

It’s nice to know there’s at least one thing I don’t have to work too hard at when I write!

There are also more than a few areas in which I’m weak. The big one is senses. I do okay when describing visual scenes, but I struggle when incorporating the other senses. Usually it’s because I forget to do it. Regardless, this is one area that I’ve noticed the tunnel vision I described above, doesn’t happen to that degree here. I do tend to focus just on the scenery and images, but when I remember to expand beyond sight I can write the other senses in that same frame of mind. It’s just a matter of forcing my brain to make it a normal function of writing instead of an afterthought.

With these new insights, I’ve decided to try a different approach to writing this year. At least until I can determine whether or not it works better for me. As I mentioned on Twitter yesterday, I completely re-wrote chapter two, about 17 pages, in a day. All of that writing was in what I’ll call character mode. Tonight I’ll go back through it and fill in the scenery and background images. I think taking a two pronged approach will work much better for me. It allows me to get the scene written without fighting myself every few paragraphs to write descriptions. Yesterday was the most I’ve ever written in a day, and I did staying completely in character mode. I felt better about it. The story unfolded easily. I actually had a few more details creep in that I hadn’t thought about as I let my character take the reins of what she wanted to do.

If this works out like I hope it does, it shouldn’t take 2 years to finish the book, which is what I’m estimating based on my old process. I’m certainly not going to rush it. I want the book to be the best that I can make it, but if I can do that and finish early…oh yeah!

I can’t convey the high I get when I’m writing or thinking through a scene and all of a sudden my mind takes off! It focuses on one, little kernel of information and sprints through a maze of thoughts morphing, merging and creating new variations or themes until it finally stops. Heart pumping with anticipation, I grab the new thought before it vanishes, then stand in awe at the evolution of that one little kernel that started it all.

I find it an absolutely amazing experience.

The process of writing is a fascinating one. Many people outline scenes or create one-line statements per chapter to keep them on target. I simply can’t do that. If I did, my mind and creativity would whither and blow away.

I definitely fall into the second category. Those who sit down with a blank screen (or paper, depending upon your medium of choice) with a general idea. In my case, I knew the overall story I wanted to tell, and I knew how it would end. In fact, I had the end clearly envisioned in my mind before I wrote a single word.

Writing the first draft was like test driving a new car in a new country. I didn’t know the roads, but I knew how to drive, where I wanted to go and generally how to get there. Along the way I found which roads were dead-ends, which ones were really windy and took me too far out of the way, and which ones took a bit longer, but the scenery was beautiful and well worth the extra travel time. I met some wonderful people on those roads as well as those I’d rather forget.

The first revision I thought would simply be an effort of cutting out the dead-ends and wayward routes and focusing on the direct path with a few scenic detours along the way.

That isn’t all that’s happening.

As I revise, images and details are emerging in my head that didn’t exist before. I’m discovering a depth to the cultures I’m writing about. A history is emerging I wasn’t aware of, along with some interesting myths and beliefs. The more I write, the more solid my characters become. I’m noticing quirks in them that I don’t remember creating. Attitudes and prejudices are becoming more substantial.

They are becoming real.

But now I wonder…isn’t hearing a bunch of voices in your head called schizophrenia? Maybe that’s only if you aren’t a writer.

The topic is WWII, and below is the intro text to read before watching the video. The artist is so engrossed and passionate with each move she makes and that intensity carries over into her art, easily moving the audience to tears.

I realize my focus is writing speculative fiction, or fantasy, but I would love to elicit this kind of connection with my readers. I think the ultimate achievement of any artist is to be able to touch someone deep inside through their work; to have that person walk away with a piece of your art forever in their hearts or minds. What greater compliment can there be?

Below is the text that introduces this artist:

“This video shows the winner of ” Ukraine’s Got Talent”, Kseniya Simonova, 24, drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table showing how ordinary people were affected by the German invasion during World War II. Her talent, which admittedly is a strange one, is mesmeric to watch.

The images, projected onto a large screen, moved many in the audience to tears and she won the top prize of about £75,000.

She begins by creating a scene showing a couple sitting holding hands on a bench under a starry sky, but then warplanes appear and the happy scene is obliterated.

It is replaced by a woman’s face crying, but then a baby arrives and the woman smiles again. Once again war returns and Miss Simonova throws the sand into chaos from which a young woman’s face appears.

She quickly becomes an old widow, her face wrinkled and sad, before the image turns into a monument to an Unknown Soldier.

This outdoor scene becomes framed by a window as if the viewer is looking out on the monument from within a house.

In the final scene, a mother and child appear inside and a man standing outside, with his hands pressed against the glass, saying goodbye.

The Great Patriotic War, as it is called in Ukraine, resulted in one in four of the population being killed with eight to 11 million deaths out of a population of 42 million.  

The first dish I tried was the chicken piccata. It called for Gardein chicken scallopini breasts. I couldn’t believe how quick and easy this dish was to put together. I had it finished before my baby blue potatoes were done roasting! And the taste was fantastic. I can’t wait to make this for my kids.

I made the Paella over the weekend and it turned out amazing. I used oyster mushrooms sauted with ground, toasted nori sheets to give it some seafood flavor. I was excited because I rarely see fresh oyster mushrooms, but Sweetbay had some so I snagged them for this dish. They were so tender and juicy.

Yesterday I tried a vegan version of boeuf bourginon. I used a meat-based recipe, but substituted Gardein beef tips for the real beef. I guessed on the cooking time since I didn’t need to cook my ‘beef,’ but it still came out very nice. I used the recipe from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. It included her recipe for sauted mushrooms, which I could have eaten right out of the saute pan. They were that good. The one thing I’ll probably omit next time is the bacon. I used a vegan bacon sauted in butter, which I think is meant to impart a smoky flavor. However, since going vegetarian, I can’t stand the smell of real bacon and can tolerate the vegan version in small doses. I’ll drop that from the next batch I make, and reduce the cooking time to only an hour or so. That should make it about perfect for me.

I also made a vanilla bean panna cotta with orange sauce for dessert. I was so tickled with how that came out. It was rich and creamy and vanilla-y (yes, that’s a word). And it was totally VEGAN! I’ve really missed my custard style desserts.  I’m going to play with a vegan flan recipe today or tomorrow.

I absolutely love to cook. If only I had enough people to eat what I make! Oh well, that’s what kids are for, right?

I am so much happier now.

One of the counselors we saw before I decided to get a divorce asked me if I could live without a husband. She said most woman immediately say yes, but really don’t understand what it would be like. I was thoroughly confused by the question and statement.

I had been married for 17 years (and engaged for 2 years) and the bulk of my ex-husband’s contribution to our relationship was a paycheck, although I made almost as much as he did before starting my own company. This isn’t a bashing post, nor do I intend for it to read as such. Rather, I’ve learned a lot this past year and the only way to appreciate these lessons learned is by understanding my experience.

I am an enabler. I suspected this only two years ago, but didn’t really see it for what it was until this past year.

My enabling experience started as a child of an alcoholic father. I learned early on to make sure nothing went wrong when my father came home as his drinking tended to accentuate his already short temper. My mother wound up on the receiving end of most of my father’s jokes and chiding, although she always took it well and never seemed to mind. I never heard her complain or defend herself.

My father didn’t do any housework. That was a woman’s job. The fact that my mother also worked full-time was irrelevant. One time I ruined a batch of ice tea I had been making. I remember my father’s exact words, “what kind of wife are you going to make if you can’t even make a batch of ice tea?!” I never responded with what I wanted to say. You never “back-talked” to my father. Instead, I swallowed my reply, dumped out the burnt tea bags, washed the pot, and started all over again.

Equal rights has always been a point of contention with me, I suppose because of my father. My sister still makes fun of me when it comes to gender stereotypes and behavior. For example, my daughter never owned a barbie, although both of my nieces had them. As far as I’m concerned, Barbie is a man’s play toy. My daughter did, however, have a baby doll. She received it for Christmas the same year she received a fire truck. Yes, both were from me.

Being the oldest meant I was responsible for everything my brother and sister did while I was in charge. I started being in charge in fourth grade. If they did something wrong and I couldn’t fix it before my father got home, whoever did it and I were both punished. I always hated that. Unfortunately, it taught me to do everything myself.

Obviously, my perception of marriage was far less than ideal. As an adult I shoved away everything I wanted from a marriage, thinking I was completely selfish, and instead settled for what I thought a marriage was supposed to be like. My ex wasn’t an alcoholic, although he did have a temper to match my father’s. He was well educated and good looking. We met the month I turned 20. At the time, I felt lucky that he even liked me.

I think it was his temper that triggered my enabling instincts. Or maybe they just never went away after going to college. Whatever the reason, I soon settled into a routine whereby I did my best not to get him angry. He rarely got angry at anything I did, but would often come home upset at something else. Whenever he did get angry, he usually took it out on me. He never hit me or anything, but he would yell and sometimes throw things. If he seemed to have a bad day at work, I wouldn’t risk setting him off by asking him to help out with the housework. Yes, I was a wuss. It’s odd, because I’ve stood up for other people’s feelings and rights numerous times, but when it comes to my own, I cave faster than you can blink.

My problem quickly escalated to include all aspects of our lives: housework, meals, finances, home/car maintenance, etc. I handled everything related to our lives. Everything. Until our last year together, he didn’t even know how many bank accounts we had. He had only ever cooked a handful of meals in all our years together. I used to try to discuss things like retirement plans or new car purchases with my ex, but he was never interested. It was simply easier for me to do it all. And he was very content to let me.
 
This past year I’ve had to walk him through ordering phone service to his house, setting up new services on his wireless account, and explaining to him who to talk to about his life insurance. The last half of 2008 and the first three months of 2009 my stress level was through the roof. I didn’t know how to unwind and let go. I kept worrying if the kids were okay at his house. Were they eating? Did they make the bus? Is he dropping them off at school too early? Did he check the boy’s homework?
 
It took a long time for me to finally let go.
 
Now, I enjoy the weeks I have with my kids, but I also enjoy the weeks they are at their dad’s. It’s the first time I can remember that I have time to myself. I can now pick up and do something and not have to worry about schedules and kids. It’s liberating to realize that I am a mother, but I also have a life of my own. Of course, now I have to actually make a life! (that’s the goal for 2010)

The guilt of not missing the kids when they’re at their dad’s is gone. The guilt of not being there to ease my ex into his own life is gone as well. Now there’s just my life and what I want to do with it.

The year taught me that I really did do far more than I should have in my marriage. It wasn’t a good relationship for either myself or my ex. I knew before the divorce that I could live without a husband. What I have to learn now, is how to live with one.

The other thing I learned is that I won’t settle again. I may not need a husband, but I won’t settle for someone who isn’t my best friend and lover. Finally, it took me 20 years to realize that wanting a caring and supportive mate is neither selfish nor unrealistic. It is also something I deserve just as much as the next person.